Dec 18th, 2013.

Exactly 4 months ago, I was here for the first time. When I walked into my room, I was completely exhausted after the long flight and the long waiting at JFK. My room was dark and empty, there’s was nothing in particular to me. All that stood out was the funny smell of my luggage, which somehow still retains in my mind until now, when I am unpacking and packing again for a new journey.

My room looks pretty much the same today as that day. Empty and dark. And there’s only the sound of myself moving around, organizing my stuff, throwing the trash away in the quiet hallway, and then lying on the bed typing random words like these, not being able to sleep.

Don’t mistake me here. I’m neither sad nor depressed. It’s just that I have a lot of unanswered questions on my mind and I need to say something.

4 months ago, I was scared and excited at the same time, since I don’t know where I would go, what it would do, where I would end up in this unfamiliar place. The worst time as far as I remembered was when I had to carry all of my luggage upstairs. They were roughly 23kg each, I was drained of energy, and Conway didn’t have an elevator. Now, it’s so much easier with just one baggage and one backpack.

4 months passed by in a wink. It’s always said that studying abroad makes you grow up significantly. To me, there’s been no significant accident or event that has taught me a big lesson, but there were so many little things that built up and made me who I am now. There was the time I actually cried in front of Pardee just because I missed my grandma. There were the New York trips that made me long for my city so bad. There were the weeks I felt a little bit overwhelmed with homework that I gradually went to bed really really late. There were my foolish moments I went crazy and bought stupid gifts just for someone I liked.

Today when I’m on my own to go to another strange and unfamiliar place, I’m less scared. When I chose to leave my family and came here, I knew for then on I would be on a very long journey until I can really be at home again. Today it’s just a small trip, but today is also the start of an adventurous time. If I could go through the first miserable days, if I could walk down the slippery hill when it was snowing so hard, why can’t I go on other adventures?

Let’s go, My.


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