My Thanksgiving week went by like a breeze. Really! I had such good food, watched such good movies, and had such amazing company! I was so sad after seeing my friend off at the bus terminal. It is hard to be the one who stays, and it is hard to be the one who leaves.
Saying goodbye to Phuong reminds me of every time my parents took me to the airport and I tried to walk into the immigration section really fast, so my mom would not see me cry. At those moments the only thing that kept me going was the thought of becoming a better and stronger girl when I can see her the next time. Gosh why is it such a big deal for me? I’m 19! Sometimes I am such a baby.
And so I thought leaving was hard, but today I realize staying is no easier. When you are so attached to the person and then he/she leaves, it’s like when things just slip away from you and you really have no control over them. It’s worse when I am living in this freaking huge country and I got a whole week of having someone whom I can trust to tell everything to, who gives me the feeling of safety when there’s just so many uncertainties I keep worrying about.
Phuong and I had this conversation yesterday at 2 in the morning. We talked about our past friends and a few of them who I am or used to be close with. We both think when you grow up there are some friends that grow with you and become even more important to you, but there are also people who can be once so closed but then just stop becoming part of your world. There were so many times I felt guilty for letting my good-friends become used-to-be-close-friends, and I thought that I did not make enough efforts to build those friendships. But hey, does it really matter that much? Maybe, a person leaves us to show us how our world changes. How we don’t care as much about the old things anymore. How our viewpoint has evolved. How we have grown into new individuals.
I always believe that travels broaden our minds. If there is one thing I learned this week when I traveled, that is definitely the reason why traveling can have such power. It is not because you get to see new things when you go to a new place, it is because of the chance to be in contact with new people, with their viewpoints and stories in so many forms, as simple as a dish, a handmade jewellery, as words, or as complex as their arts. When you go sightseeing, visit a historical spots, eat local foods, or go to the museum, aren’t you trying to see what’s on someone else’s minds and what their ideas of the best are? Such brief contact with people taught me a hell lot about how different our minds can become under different circumstances and how far our potentials can be.
They keep saying in movies that everyone who is in our lives, is there for a reason. I think this is so true, and I also think the reason is because they can bring to us something different from us and teach us something we have yet to know. When Phuong left today, I was truly sad, and a little bit afraid. But I am thankful for that point in time, for she has put me back in time in my mom’s place at the airport. She already told me about the importance of everyone that crossed my path at some point, and at that moment I felt so much better about letting her leave, as I understood more clearly than ever before that she has already left me with something new – a new thought to ponder about, and she could never have done it without leaving.
This Thanksgiving I just want to say thanks to everyone whom I have, even once, had a conversation with. You all shaped my world and taught me something. I really appreciate it. So thank you!